Do I Behave Normally?

It’s raining outside, it’s 12:16 am but I’m still awake. Why I couldn’t get rid of things? I’m on the third year college already, three semesters to go and I can already call myself as a professional. But why? Lately, I’m becoming so panic, nervous and so much worried about the future. I’m worried that I might go to the wrong way, I mean my parents is expecting too much from me and I’m afraid that I might not meet what exactly they wanted me to become. They want me to work abroad after graduation and earn dollars so I can help them; I’m thinking about that all the time that what if I couldn’t find a job abroad? What if I can’t support them financially? I really want to help them, if I could only fast forward the time so that they don’t worry about expenses anymore, I would. It hurts me every time I see my parents arguing about money, and discussing how they budget it for us. Hopefully, I can pass the interview of work and travel so that I able to have my On-job-training in U.S. this coming summer, that is the other thing that sticks in to my mind, I’m so pressured to the point that I can’t even concentrate on lessons, this is really serious. I also don’t understand myself why do I act this way. Sometimes, I ask myself if I’m going insane. I’m trying to adjust and refresh my mind but it always coming back, everyday. I want it to keep just for myself only but I can’t even handle this alone, I talked to my siblings of how I feel and they said that it is only normal because it is part of it. Well, that’s all I can say. I feel better if I’m sharing it to others so feel free to read and to comment. Thank you.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. angelauren
    Sep 02, 2011 @ 12:19:23

    hi, i think you’re behaving normally. filipino families put a lot of pressure on their children so it’s up to us to live up to those things. no wonder we feel so much stress!

    Reply

  2. fey's diary
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 06:17:22

    thank you for the comment angel. 🙂

    Reply

  3. Javi&Palace
    Sep 15, 2011 @ 21:16:21

    You can do whatever you purpose to yourself. Just stay true to you and no one else than you, fey 😉

    So you’re from Philipinas, right? Then you may now some spanish I guess 🙂
    I’m from Spain, and I’m also learning english like you do with wordpress. I must to recognize that it’s very useful to income my knowledge of english.

    My bests whishes,
    Javier.

    Reply

  4. Javi&Palace
    Sep 15, 2011 @ 21:16:37

    sorry, best wishes, not bests (such a mistake!!!)

    Reply

  5. doon po sa amin
    Sep 30, 2011 @ 11:33:15

    hello, fey,

    yes, your behavior is normal. sa pilipinas talaga, medyo malakas ang pressure ng pamilya lalo na sa usaping economic at pagkita ng salapi…

    if you have extra time, you may pursue the idea of working part-time para mabawasan ang hihingiin mo sa magulang at sa gayon, ang pressure din from the parents who are probably having a hard time maing ends meet especially sa panahon ngayon.. ayon

    kumusta? 🙂

    Reply

  6. fey's diary
    Oct 16, 2011 @ 16:30:33

    Wow. That was a good advice. Salamat, matanong ko lang girl po ba kayo? hehe pasensya na, di kasi ma identify sa name eh. Sa ngayon, masyadong busy kaya di na ako nakakagawa ng bago. Ikaw kumusta naman ang buhay natin dyan? 😀

    Reply

  7. Betty Londergan
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 13:42:38

    You are so young — and so motivated to blog and tweet — I’m sure you’ll be a great communicator, and THAT (plus your college education) will help you succeed in whatever you do! Have confidence … and a happy day!! (Thanks for reading my blog, Heifer 12 x 12, too!!)

    Reply

  8. dailyquestleveling039
    Jun 28, 2013 @ 09:08:24

    Reblogged this on dailyquestleveling039 and commented:
    My girlfriend whose page is mixxieboomboom has good content, she recently introduced me to wordpress back last year. ANd she just got back to being online with internet now.Follow her and learn from her blogs. She recently posted an article that I’m sure many graduates can understand and learn from

    Reply

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