I’ve Only Asked for Bronze, Didn’t Expect to Have Gold

Hilarious!  How I see myself back in the past, crying and desperately in love with the person who leaves a big scar into my precious heart, the person who don’t really know the word “love”, since he only knew the word “game” that if you cheat, you won. However, time heals the wounds, memories remain but slowly vanish. I accepted the truth that we were not for each other. That Lord wants the best guy for me.

Now that I can say I moved on, I can laugh at myself on how I act before; it seems that I couldn’t have another guy in my life again, never realize that there is one person who is loving me in disguise, hurting when seeing me hurt and the only desire is to see me happy. I honestly don’t feel him before when he was courting me because my mind was shield with the wrong person.

He definitely courting me for about three years, such a fool I am doesn’t sense this prince charming of mine. Someone who is biggest fear is to lose someone like me.

Luckily, he was finally noticed. And there, I saw his genuineness. I never regret that I gave him a chance; we’re now running to seven months and really going stronger. He was different from what I expected. I thought that all boys would change after a couple of weeks, but I proved myself wrong, not all the boys are the same. He was the best boyfriend I ever had, so far, if ever.

No doubt how proud I am to the point that I write here, yes really proud, because I learned more from him. One thing is important in commitment is that both of you are learning from each other, you need to have benefits from each other;

  1. Developing social skills. Engaging yourself for having a relationship can help you develop your social skill; because it lessens your shyness and you are able to express your feeling that you think you can never do before.
  2. Spiritually advantage. One thing to know that your relationship is tough is that when you don’t forget God. It is actually where you are taking your strength for a going-stronger relationship.
  3. Appreciation and Support. Yes, family and friends can also give the same but isn’t romantic when it comes from your boyfriend? It will give you a total strength of mind.
  4. It teaches a couple to wait for the right time. Since both of you are still enjoying careers and achievements, it helps you understand that there is a right time for you and it is too early to involve yourself in a sexual category.

Those are the benefits that I gain from having a commitment and I learn more as days count. Having a boyfriend is not bad unless you are doing something bad with your boyfriend.

I haven’t expected for having this expensive gift that I cannot get if ever I wanted it. A gold that twinkled my weary chaos.

I’m glad that I’m in love. Thank you for reading and I hope you too had benefits upon reading this.


How I Do Things to Forget Everything

Forgetting is not easy but it can be if you started to accept everthing.For how many years we’re together, living without him is a new life to face. After all, I can manage not to think of him for an hour, and not to cry every time I think of him.  I’m happy with my life now, I’m gradually staying contented of what I have and I’m happy with the persons around me. Of course my friends and family became as supportive as they are. They’re inviting me on dinner, watch movies, talk and laugh together, and do everything that is funny.

I decided also to reduce my weight so that it will not be so hard for me to get work after I graduate, well that is two years from now. I’m  not really fat as what you think of but it’s just that it requires fitness on working in hospitality industry.  I eat rice maximum of one cup, I sleep eight hours a day, I go jogging once a week for about an hour and I’m also planning to take dance lessons. Doing all these things can make me crazy but it can really help me out. I’m also now learning to eat vegetables which I really don’t like before. I’ve just realized that my life before is weak, very unhealthy and boring. I have also a time now for reading, writing and a limited time to surf the net. Self-discipline is much-needed to be able to achieve goals. Life is happy when you just let yourself to be happy.

I know someday I can meet many more guys in my life. I have a long long way to go for a serious relationship. I have to graduate first and work. Thinking of him can just ruin my life. I know my soul mate doesn’t come yet so it’s fine, world is just keep on moving carrying a lot of problems in it so I have to do it too. I’m tough, God is with me. I’m happy for them and I’m praying for them. We are now living in different lives already. I know he’s not the right guy for me, because if he was, he can never do that to me. I just have to pretend now that being with him was just a wonderful dream that turned out to be a nightmare.