Do I Behave Normally?

It’s raining outside, it’s 12:16 am but I’m still awake. Why I couldn’t get rid of things? I’m on the third year college already, three semesters to go and I can already call myself as a professional. But why? Lately, I’m becoming so panic, nervous and so much worried about the future. I’m worried that I might go to the wrong way, I mean my parents is expecting too much from me and I’m afraid that I might not meet what exactly they wanted me to become. They want me to work abroad after graduation and earn dollars so I can help them; I’m thinking about that all the time that what if I couldn’t find a job abroad? What if I can’t support them financially? I really want to help them, if I could only fast forward the time so that they don’t worry about expenses anymore, I would. It hurts me every time I see my parents arguing about money, and discussing how they budget it for us. Hopefully, I can pass the interview of work and travel so that I able to have my On-job-training in U.S. this coming summer, that is the other thing that sticks in to my mind, I’m so pressured to the point that I can’t even concentrate on lessons, this is really serious. I also don’t understand myself why do I act this way. Sometimes, I ask myself if I’m going insane. I’m trying to adjust and refresh my mind but it always coming back, everyday. I want it to keep just for myself only but I can’t even handle this alone, I talked to my siblings of how I feel and they said that it is only normal because it is part of it. Well, that’s all I can say. I feel better if I’m sharing it to others so feel free to read and to comment. Thank you.

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